My RESPONSIBILITY

DID YOU EVERN CARE ABOUT MY FEELING?
am i a spare tire?
i appear on the wrong timing?
oh please dun make me feel i am juz maintaining this releationship,
or it is juz my responsibility??
i dun like,the feeling..
everything.i feel so tired.

everytime i tot i can get some love?relax?even a comfort in there.
what i get.i juz get another pressure.
i cant get anything at there.
i wanna release my EMO.but there's no way to let me!!!
i feel stress.i feel tire.i feel sad.
i am the one who made u sad?
how abt me?who made me?!!!=(
WOBUZHIDAO.
i dunnoe!DUNNOE!
everythings is my fault.really my fault.
sorry,sorry and sorry.
everyday i need to repeat this word how many times?
i feel i am so hopeless.
tired,tired and tired
everyday i repeat and repeat.
i tell myself 'when i wan to give up,i think about what i wastide until now.'
boring boring and boring.
REPEAT!!
OMG i must be crazy someday.................

I WAN TO RELEASE FROM STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LONG DISTANCE.

"i wish that you were here with me.
this long distance is killing me."

sometimes i feel tired.but no one know it.
i am EMO.no one will really care abt me.
they will cheer me up,but,they never care why i am EMO.
they juz need my smiling face while with them.

i am not a superman,although i am superman,i will be tired too.
but NO ONE will care!
there's not 1 understand me.
sometimes i am not really wan cold to u all,but i really got alot problems.
i tried to tell.i tried to call somebody to talk....
deeply.
but there's no one could listen to my calling.
i felt i am stupid.
so i choose to close up my mind.
i dunwan to show others the real me,my mind,and myself.
i really feel very pressure.in every places.

should'nt be like tat.
i tot i got alot friendsss!!
but now i need a ppl who juz listen to me,i cant even found tat person!
WTH...
maybe i am not very important to my friend.
but i need them so much.

no one could believe i am sad..
because i everyday show a signature face----smile..
but hor.
I AM UNHAPPY.

NEVER.

Am i wrong?
i try to change myself to better,but who cares?
i feel so strange when i mix up with my old friends..
that feeling so weird and nobody will understand.
they started had their own language which i am not understand.
that's why i feel very strange,i miss those feeling when i am still mix with them...

i really get my pressure...
whatever i did also wrong,i tried to explain,after i explained,they will juz keep scolding me.
so i start a new system.
I WILL NEVER EXPLAIN ANYMORE.
if they think i am wrong,then juz let me wrong.
i will only say,okay and sorry.

i am unhappy.totally.crazily.EXTREAMLY.
but there's no one i could really listen to me...
i just need someone to talk.
i lost all my friendssss.
not really,but i realise that my best friend keep at a distance with me.
maybe,i am a bad guy.

juz 4got it.
homework time..

TALKING TO THE MOON.

i am late to school today,wake up at 7.45.
i tot is 6.45,still bath till very steady,after bath only realise is seven o'clock dy.==
den rush to school and staight go to SPBT,after den discuss something wif teacher,she wan us do a song 4 SPBT,i feel so funny,DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH please.LOL
after end a extreamly boring school time.go back home.
after bath go gurney plaza,brought a new shoes.converse!!!haha!!!
den accompany my sister buy hers new year shirt.
almost 6 v go back home.i fall slept inside the car,too tired lar...
after go dinner wif my brother and sister,i dint eat breakfast,lunch,8.30 only start my dinner.
HUNGRY!!!

WHY?
everytimes i try to 4got u,u will appear!why?
u wan me to be happy?u wan me stay happy?u wan me treat her good?
i will,cause i knw how sad if get hurt.
i hate u b4,i admit,but now i feel okay.nothing speacial anymore.
WHY u wanna treat me like this?
i am not mean to blame u.NEVER.
but i also hope u can found a better guy.

i am still hungry.
call me pig LOL..==

RON/10.45PM/21-1-2011

CHANGE.

Today is a good day,in a weather,HOT.
i wanna thanks to someone who comment to me even scold me.
really thanks.

today i went somewhere,which is no one will knw where is it.XD
it was so cool,i went wif zhiming jiaxin YING CHIAT.
why i wan caps lock it?u knw i knw la.
very enjoyable day.v talk alot at there and it is so fun.wheeeeeeeeeee

yeah,i get into an accident,suddenly i feel i am so mature,unexpectedly i said sorry to them,those untie.they are very fierce la actually,LOL..
okay la,enough,good night everyone...

CRY.

我不能想象我会为了我弟弟哭成这样。
我听妈妈说我弟弟今天从学校回来的时候哭到眼睛肿....
我一想到他一个人在幼稚园的时候失去方寸的样子，我就崩溃了...
我哭到像世界末日。
我很心痛他，很担心他。
我不知道为什么我会哭成这样.....
我想到他哭的时候我却在学校玩得很开心，我很自责.....
我妈妈教他做功课时，因为他还不会握铅笔，我妈妈就收他，做莫你连铅笔都不会握的?
他说，妈妈你不要骂我拉。。然后就哭了。
我很心痛......
我很想陪他一起上课，我很担心他。
我明白他还是要去上课的，可是我真的很担心他.......

希望上帝保佑他，帮忙照顾照顾他.....

PRESSURE.

压力
是现今的社会里每个人都拥有的基本资产。
爱情，友情，学业，事业。
这是人类永远无法摆脱的魔咒。
这一种资产，不贵，甚至免费，你就可以拥有，拥有了以后，就永远，永远都无法摆脱。
它是一种不能言语的怪物，它会吞噬你，包围你，使你无法自己。
它是一种无法形容，却很实在的感觉，让你很不自在的感觉。

我的压力别人很难理解。
家，就是我的压力。
我很爱家，我很喜欢回家的感觉，至少在中学form 3以前，我是这样想的。
从我踏入15岁后，我就觉得家人开始不喜欢我，常常说一些话来伤我
他们不在乎我的感受，不同的人做相同的事，原来真的有不同的结果。
我做的事情，永远都是错的，无论是什么，甚至是午觉。
我真的觉得，我是多余的。
我没有说父母不疼我，只是在某些时候，我感受不到
我想要对兄弟姐妹们说出我的心事，我的梦想
我只是要求他们的支持，我只是想要他们听我说一次，就那么一次。
每次我想说，就只会被泼一盆冷水
我的梦想，是多么的不值钱，是多么的无聊，是多么的幼稚。
我需要的，是温暖，是鼓励，是支持

我的梦想，比不上你们的梦想。
你们的梦想，很伟大
我的梦想，很废。
我连要求的资格都没有吗?
对不起，如果你真的觉得我很烦......
也许，这就是我被家人讨厌的原因。

Should?or Should'NT?

EMOOOOOOOO time again...
WTH,since i knw wat she said i emo till now even i am sick.
i dunnoe wat should i say abt this but i really have no idea why she will say like this?
is me?or someone else??
should i care abt this?or should'nt??
WELL,WHATEVER.

SPM is coming..
i dunnoe should i continue or not.
i am in a study mood,totally put my heart into study RIGHT NOW!
suddenly feel so strange wif my old frenss..
talk lesser and no more chit chat.
i knw they 4got my plan aldy.but i cant blame them,everyone need to focus to their point,SPM!
i juz blame myself,if last year or maybe last last year i can study well abit,now i no need to panic and cannot small class with them....
but regret is USELESS..
but i hope i am not yet hopeless.i swear i will study well 4 SPM,4 my future,4 myself!
i hope i can stay this mood untill the end of the year!
jiayous!!!

it tie my 4ever?i feel pressure.....
i need a pillow a blanket a bed!!!to sleep......

my TITLE is TITLE.

it was a happy day.
SPBT's AGM 2.30-4.30
someone feel happy,someone feel sad,someone cry 4 the list...
dunnoe why i feel upset when put down my post,altought it's not really are.
no one could luckily than me..
i get into SPBT in january 2010,i get a important post in july 2010
and i passed my post when january 2011.hmmmmmmm......

i dunnoe why i feel like this,i feel she's scolding me,but i no dare to ask her...
i feel so sad when somebody tell me that..
i'm still thinking right?or wrong....?
i dunnoe what is love,and i should'nt love,but like wat sumei says,if u can stop,that is not feeling...
love is a durian,horny but taste so good,everyone will fall into it.....
i think i fall but...WTF i'm thinking now?
I AM LOST!!!!
no one could help me out,only myself....
please,dun ask me if u tot me as ur fren...
and dun ask me why i wanna write blog.i will only ans i DUNNOE!!
almost 10+ ppl ask me!!i gonna boooooooooom.
she's gonna birthday...
but i cant hang out wif her for sure.
i am so SORRY..=[






end up here,plenty homework..
update sooon............

i GET it.

IS a day!nothing special and ful lfill wif my tuition.WTF
now my family go to pasar malam but i dont want to follow,as i hav plenty homework not yet do.

i knw something that i dunwan to believe it
i try to ignore at the beginning,and i am fucking cannot accept this.
it is totally RIDICULOUS!
i really dunnoe how to face THEM,yea THEM!*ask me if u need more detail*
WTF

i cant deny i got abit siok when i realise tat still got someone like me.hmmmm
but i cannot believe she will come into my life with a character like this...

today PJ period i played BSKTball wif my fren,v play the feeling juz like last year...
i miss that period and i miss my monitor suit....hmmmmm
haiz,juz like angie said the god will explain everything 4 me,i trust it,i swear!
maybe i am not a talented person or i aldy choose a wrong 'road' 4 myself...
but i really like it,and enjoy it....
OR it is my destiny?
something like a peice of shit??
tmr need pass down my SPBT post aldy,this few month v really meet alot of problems..
but v are done!
we are the WINNER!!
SPBT the BEST!!!
well i have nothing to say liao...
homework timesssssssssss..........

WAT a DAY!

well today i went 4 two tuition wif zhiming,jiaxin and YINGCHIAT.
why i wanna caps lock it?u knw i knw la...
1st i get to the S.H.tan addmath,wtf now only knw how importance basic are.
i am TOTALLY dunnoe wat he is saying.
and i keep play wif zhiming....
well done,so i cant finish my add math homework due i dunnoe how to do.WTF!
today is a GOOD day.
she made me love her so much.=]*i knw u are very happy*

i saw someone keep paktou and paktou lor,envy die meee........
den after i finish my addmath tuition,meet jye er and then i jio her go bio tuition
WATCH somebody paktou.*u knw i knw la.*

sometimes i told myself,dun think too much and dun try to mess up my mind
but then,when i am free,even 1 min,i will start thinking thinking and thinking!!!
i cant stop myself!!!
i feel my mind like a G6,flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so far!!!
whatever..

and i wanna be alone,sometimes,incase i am EMO
but now i get a blog to release my EMO...
word by word,time by time.i gonna sleep...
2012 is coming..OMFG!
i am thinking *ROSE**JACK**U JUMP I JUMP.*==

SO it is.

hmmmm,i think picture will explain everything.second day i started BLOGGING.

actually today not really in blogging mood,but i dunwan second day den i let my blog dead.

whatever,i very like this word,if u talked wif me this few week,u will knw i keep saying this word.

i am unhappy,but no one knew?!i think too much,i keep thinking a same ques today

but i wont say at here,too porpular okay.

but the question may hurt a ppl,so i must serious on it.

but then when u c my picture,u wont trust wat i said above,whatever.=] classic pose.hmmm

c my brothher.

cute leh.??

look alike leh.

qiun ar.==

well,at last,i get nothing,done nothing

and i get my mood back after i finish my homework,i guess.

tmr is MONDAY,it is fucking boring.ZZZzzz

tired and sleepy.off and bye.=]

WAT IS THIS?

started to blog.
yea,everytime i saw somebody playing blog i will ask them:'is it really so funny?'
but then,i started too,is it a trendy?wtf...

hmmm,this week,i try to ask myself,am i really right,can i accept her o SHOULD i?
i dunnoe wat she will do if i tell her,i am so sorry i'm a bad ppl.
i saw her blog!it was so sick,i cried?yea!wtf.
even she never wrote out my thing,but i really love her,i really sure.
she had changed,pretty than last time..
i sent her a msg,a pointless msg,i knw it was annoying,so i am fucking hate myself.
i sure when i tell someone i am playing blog,they sure will give me a big reaction*wtf u played?*
haiz,maybe i am not suit to do this....whatever.
this is a place to let me release my EMO?whatever.

this few month i feel my body got some problemssssssss
my stomach,i mean gastic very serioussssssssssss,pain everytime..........
my right ear..it is useless sometime,will suddenly can hear anything,i rmb 1st time i meet this problem,i thought i become a deaf,but i feel like whatever.

form 5 dy,now only realise.....
SPM coming soon,10 month,i sure it will come with a lightning speed
i will study well well well well well well i swear!!
but saturday and sunday let me rest please.

i must find out the point i create this BLOG.
1/9/2011 5.00 A.m